I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
