haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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