oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
