Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
