Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
