I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
