my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
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we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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