I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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