How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
