He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize