You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
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I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
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Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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