I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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