I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
