Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
