At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
