He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Randomize
