Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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