oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
