If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
should my penis look like a turkey
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
