It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My dick has a subreddit
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
