Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
