no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
