somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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