And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
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i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
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Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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