i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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