I'm eating all of the evidence.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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