We're like a lot better than the average bears
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
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