checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I want a musical about memes.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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