let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
