i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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