Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
