Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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