I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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