is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
PANTIES FOUND
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