I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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