using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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