his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think my moral compass just broke
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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