Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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