walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
