Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
