Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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