he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
