It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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