508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
