Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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