I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Damn victory sex feels great
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
