She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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