my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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