I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize