Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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