it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
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when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
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The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He shit in the fireplace
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