Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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