what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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