rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
