so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize