That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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