Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
