At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
