do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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