Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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