please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
